


a Breath of Fresh Air

by theoffbeatdrum



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Bisexual Character, Breathplay, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Voyeurism, mentions of other kinks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-08-13 18:31:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7981777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoffbeatdrum/pseuds/theoffbeatdrum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyungsoo realizes he's gonna need help with this kink. Chanyeol comes to his rescue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a Breath of Fresh Air

**Author's Note:**

  * For [baekinator](https://archiveofourown.org/users/baekinator/gifts).



> i'm gonna hide now
> 
> written for and bc of T who mentioned kyungsoo in a collar a month ago
> 
> Disclaimer: don't try this at home i have no idea what i'm doing

Kyungsoo has always liked wearing shirts with high collars and he always buttons every button on his dress shirts. He never really thought much about it until Jongdae had pointed it out and Baekhyun had called him a prude. They had asked him why he never wears v-necks or showed a little skin. It had never crossed Kyungsoo's mind to do so. He had unbuttoned the top two buttons on his shirt in the morning, just to appease his housemates, but he had felt jittery all day. When he thought about it later that day, he realized he likes the feeling of the fabric dragging against his neck. He had told Chanyeol as much, who had commented that whenever his mom made him button up for formal occasions he always finds it too constricting. Kyungsoo doesn't mind.

It's a few days later that Kyungsoo thinks about that particular conversation again and it's only fleeting. He takes advantage of the fact that no one else is back yet when he gets home and shoves his pants off as soon as he gets to his room. It doesn't take long before he has one hand sliding up and down his dick and one hand slipped under his shirt, his fingers teasing his nipples. It's good, but not enough. He chases his orgasm but it seems just out of reach. He tries to think of something, anything, that would push him over the edge. In frustration he pulls on the fabric of his shirt, and he feels his collar dig into the back of his neck. The conversation springs to the front of his mind in hazy blurs, something about collars and constriction. Something coils deep inside him and in his daze, Kyungsoo maneuvers so that he can reach his hand to the back of his shirt and pulls. The effect is instantaneous. The sensation of his shirt digging into his neck makes his back arch away from the bed which only intensifies the pressure. He feels everything and nothing at the same time as he comes hard and his voice breaks on a moan. He strokes himself until he can't take it anymore and the tension drains from his limbs.

When he comes back to his senses, the realization of what just happened hits him. He had never come this hard before when masturbating and it happened because he choked himself. The thought is both unsettling and exhilarating.

Kyungsoo really wants to explore this more, but it's not easy. He's not at home by himself a lot and he's not foolish enough to try when someone could easily walk in. Living in close quarters with three other guys means that there is little privacy. Kyungsoo is once again reminded of this when he walks into the room he shares with Chanyeol and finds his roommate on his bed with legs spread, his hand moving fast in his boxers. Chanyeol's hooded and unfocused eyes widen when he noticed Kyungsoo, who is standing frozen in the doorway. A broken off moan and a slight gasp when their eyes meet have Kyungsoo bolting back out of the room.

He's reminded of it again the next day when Baekhyun waltzes into the bathroom, attempting to strike up conversation while Kyungsoo is in the shower, with one hand on his dick and one hand clamped around his mouth. Baekhyun falls quiet when a moan slips between Kyungsoo's fingers and Kyungsoo can hear the smirk on his lips when he tells him he'll leave him to it. Kyungsoo is mortified but he is too close to orgasm to find it in him to care much about it.

 

Two weeks after Kyungsoo's revelation, Jongdae slips into Chanyeol and Kyungsoo's room.

"We're gonna get drunk tonight, don't make other plans."

Kyungsoo opens his mouth to protest, but Jongdae cuts him off before he gets even a word out.

"At home, Kyungsoo. Baekhyun is sad and we're gonna be supportive friends and get drunk with him."

Jongdae is a nice guy, but the look he gives Kyungsoo has him snapping his mouth shut and nodding quietly.

 

That evening they crowd around the small table in their living room, Kyungsoo and Jongdae on the couch and Baekhyun sitting on the floor between their legs. Easy access to the alcohol. Chanyeol attempted to curl up in Baekhyun's lap after his fourth drink but he was too tall to be successful, so he ended up across Baekhyun's thighs, with one of Baekhyun's hands stroking and scratching the exposed skin where his shirt rode up.

Kyungsoo is more than pleasantly buzzed by the time Baekhyun tells them why he's been sad.

"I broke up with Joonmyun."

He downs his drink, grabs the glass Kyungsoo was reaching for and empties that too. Kyungsoo straightens back up and glances at Jongdae, who looks incredibly sad but not surprised. He probably already knew, he's close to Joonmyun too.

"But I thought you loved him?" Chanyeol is the first to speak up, a little louder than appropriate, as usual. Kyungsoo kicks at him.

"Shut up, Chanyeol."

Baekhyun has slumped back against the couch and Jongdae's hand finds its way to his hair as he lifts Jongdae's leg so he can hook it over his shoulder and curl around it. Jongdae's foot only just misses Chanyeol's face on the way up.

"I did love him," Baekhyun mumbles from where his face is pressed against Jongdae's shin. Kyungsoo knows Baekhyun takes comfort from being touched, which is why the other two are all over him right now, but it's not the type of comfort Kyungsoo can give easily. So he busies himself with pouring drinks instead. That he can do. He gives Baekhyun a shot glass and takes it from him again after he's poured it down his throat. Kyungsoo squeezes his shoulder in a gesture that more friendly than comforting, probably. He's trying, for Baekhyun's sake. He knows Baekhyun appreciates it because his glassy eyes find his and he smiles a little. And if Kyungsoo sits back on the couch a little closer to Baekhyun because of it, well, no one needs to know.

A little later, they're all on the floor and, as is bound to happen when Baekhyun is involved, their conversation has turned to sex. Kyungsoo is drunk enough to forget to pretend he doesn't enjoy this topic, so he leans in when Baekhyun beckons them closer, as if they have to worry about anyone overhearing them when they're in their own living room.

"Joonmyun didn't like rimming," Baekhyun whispers conspiratorially. Jongdae gasps. Chanyeol stares. Kyungsoo flushes.

"But you love eating ass," Jongdae says, bewildered.

"I know," Baekhyun drawls, "I didn't even get the chance to change his mind. He said it was unsanitary." Baekhyun makes sloppy air quotes at the last word and nearly slams his elbow into Kyungsoo's chin.

"Did you break up with him because he doesn't like the idea of having your tongue in his ass?" Kyungsoo deadpans. Baekhyun shrugs.

"I don't know. It's not- He wouldn't even try, Soo."

"But you're so good at it," Chanyeol says, stunned. Kyungsoo stares. He might be drunk but he's not drunk enough to keep him from wondering how Chanyeol knows this.

"Thanks, Chanyeol." Baekhyun ruffles his hair and Chanyeol beams.

"So if he wasn't into rimming, what was he into?" Jongdae asks, having only now recovered from the shock.

Baekhyun flushes slightly at the question, not because he's embarrassed, but because he's remembering something. Kyungsoo knows this because Baekhyun never gets embarrassed.

"I fisted him once," Baekhyun finally says, his tone far off, like he can see the scene in his mind. He probably can. "He liked my hands."

"I bet he could take two dicks," Chanyeol says all of a sudden. Kyungsoo takes a deep breath.

"You sound jealous," Jongdae teases. Chanyeol flushes bright red. "Oh my god, Park Chanyeol, do you want two dicks in you?"

"Y-yeah," Chanyeol responds, too honest, as usual. His face is on fire.

"That's kind of hot," Baekhyun says, "have you ever tried it?"

"No? I just, I want to try sometimes."

Jongdae drags himself over to where Chanyeol has sprawled on the floor like a starfish.

"What's the kinkiest thing you've done, Chanyeol?" Jongdae asks gently when he's kneeling next to him. Chanyeol covers his face. Jongdae leans down to put his head on his tummy, one hand crawling from his chest to the back of his neck. Kyungsoo hears Chanyeol mumble something.

"I didn't know you had it in you, Park Chanyeol," Jongdae says, like he's proud of him.

"What is it?" Baekhyun asks somewhere from Kyungsoo's left. He had forgotten he was there.

"Our little Chanyeol once made a girl come with his tongue on a movie date," Jongdae answers while he pets Chanyeol's hair away from his face. "How did you even fit all your limbs between the seats, you're a giant."

Kyungsoo smirks. He had already known Chanyeol had done it. He had been as mortified as he was proud when he told Kyungsoo when he had come home. He also knows Chanyeol had gotten hard again just talking about it, but he decides that that is something he wants to keep to himself.

"What about you guys?" Chanyeol manages to ask.

"I sort of got invited to a threesome once," Jongdae says immediately. "I wasn't gonna do it because I don't know what to do with vaginas, but she just wanted to kiss me and watch me fuck her boyfriend. I couldn't say no, he was hot as fuck."

His eyes glaze over.

"Such pretty noises."

"Fisting Joonmyun," Baekhyun says suddenly, like he had been going through a list in his head.

Kyungsoo feels three pairs of eyes on him and shifts where he's sitting. He is not one to be open about stuff like this, not like Baekhyun, who is as talkative about his sex life as he is about everything else, no matter where or when. Or like Jongdae, who pretends to be embarrassed when they are in public and Baekhyun talks about the first time he fingered himself, but who is paying the closest attention. Or even like Chanyeol, who opens up in privacy with the right amount of pushing. Kyungsoo keeps things like this to himself.

But Kyungsoo is also drunk and drunk Kyungsoo wants to show off.

"Gangbang."

They stare. Chanyeol sits up.

"You are a kinky little fucker, aren't you?" Jongdae muses. Kyungsoo ignores him. Chanyeol wipes the corner of his mouth. Kyungsoo swallows.

"Shit," Baekhyun breathes out. He scrambles closer to Kyungsoo's side. "Were you, you know, the center?" Kyungsoo nods.

"Fucking hell," Baekhyun says as he grabs the nearest bottle, takes a swig and passes it around. "That's hot as fuck, Kyungsoo. I can't believe this. That's like, my number one kink."

"You really should try it then, it's pretty damn great." Baekhyun lets out a sound that's somewhere between a groan and a moan.

"I want to be blindfolded and tied to a bed," Jongdae suddenly says, his voice muffled because he has tucked his face against Chanyeol's chest. Chanyeol puts a hand on the back of his neck.

"Shut up, I wanna hear more about Kyungsoo's gangbang. How many guys were there?" Baekhyun sounds a lot more sober. Kyungsoo counts in his head.

"Four. And me." Baekhyun whimpers.

"I'm getting hard just thinking about it." Kyungsoo isn't surprised this is something Baekhyun is into. He loves being the center of attention, it's where he belongs. He loves eyes on him and he loves dick. It makes perfect sense.

"Can we talk about me now?" Jongdae asks, still buried in Chanyeol's chest. "I want someone to tie me to a bed, blindfold me and drive me insane. Can we talk about that now?" He sounds like he's pouting. He probably is.

"Do you have anyone in mind, Jongdae?" Baekhyun asks him, sounding like he doesn't really want to know. Jongdae nods so hard Chanyeol nearly falls over from it. "Do you wanna share with the class who that is, Jongdae?" Kyungsoo slaps Baekhyun's arm.

"Don't be a dick."

Jongdae isn't saying anything, just burrows further into Chanyeol, who cradles his head with one arm.

"What about you, Kyungsoo? What's your thing?" Chanyeol asks over the top of Jongdae's head. Kyungsoo blanches. He might be drunk enough to admit to his wildest sexual act, but he's not drunk enough to give this away too.

"Not saying."

"Aw, come on, Soo," Baekhyun drawls straight into his ear, "we all shared."

"Yeah, Kyungsoo," Jongdae mumbles. "Not fair."

"I don't care."

 

That night Kyungsoo pretends to be asleep when Chanyeol heads to bed. He pretends he doesn't hear Chanyeol wondering out loud if he should crawl in with Kyungsoo. He pretends he doesn't notice when Chanyeol snakes his arm around his waist.

 

Kyungsoo wakes up with Chanyeol spread over him, asleep. He doesn't feel much besides the weight of a person on top of him and a tingle down his spine. Chanyeol stirs then, and Kyungsoo tries to move out from under him, but Chanyeol just twists his arms around Kyungsoo's chest and holds him tight. Kyungsoo nearly whines. His lungs can't fully expand like this and Chanyeol lets him go before it's too much. His mind blanks as Chanyeol moves next to him, a leg and an arm still thrown across Kyungsoo's frame and his face in Kyungsoo's neck. Kyungsoo lets out a shaky breath. His arousal registers even in his foggy hangover mind and he turns on his side before Chanyeol can notice it too. He tries to get his dick down through sheer willpower but Chanyeol never keeps his hands to himself in his sleep. One hand curls into the fabric of Kyungsoo's shirt and the sensation of the drag against his skin makes Kyungsoo's dick twitch. He indulges in the feeling for a few seconds before dragging himself to the bathroom where he slumps against the door. He needs to get a grip on himself. Ever since his realization he's been on edge, a constant hum beneath his skin. He really needs to sate this curiosity but not hungover, not rushed, not with Chanyeol lying next to him. Chanyeol. Another tingle shoots down his spine as his mind jumps back to waking up underneath him and Kyungsoo feels bad for thinking about it while he reaches down to circle his fingers around himself. Shame floods him alongside arousal and when he comes it's only half satisfying.

 

Three days later, Kyungsoo receives a package in the mail. It's a small, nondescript box, but the sight of it has Kyungsoo's blood pumping faster. He waits until he's alone in his and Chanyeol's room to open it and he's glad he did because his hands tremble slightly as he unpacks a simple black collar. He runs his finger over it, slightly in awe. He had ordered it online on impulse after doing some online searching about choking. He had found a website with a discussion board where people talked about safety, gave tips and advice. Someone had posted about wearing a choker day in day out, and there was a link to the specific collar and Kyungsoo had been too curious to resist. Now that he has it in his hands he wants to try it on immediately, but he puts it back in the box and sets it aside for the next day, when he would finally get some time alone again.

 

The first time he puts it on, Kyungsoo feels strange. It looks like a plain choker, like one Jongdae would sometimes wear when they went out, but it's snug enough that Kyungsoo is constantly aware of it. It looks nice against his skin. He feels reckless when he walks around the apartment with it, his kink on display. The rush has him hard again before he knows it and he heads back to his room to deal with it. Every movement of his head makes the choker squeeze his neck a little and it feels so good, so good. He thinks about what it would feel like if it was someone's hand on his neck instead and comes immediately. The collar strains over his skin as he pants until his breathing is back to normal. Somehow he registers someone coming home and has enough sense to take the choker off, he's not ready to share this yet. He's only managed to shove it under the pillow when the door opens and Chanyeol steps into the room.

"Oh, there you are," he says, before stopping short when he sees the state Kyungsoo is in.

"Kyungsoo?"

"Yeah."

"You're naked."

"Yeah."

"Did you just jerk off?"

"Yeah."

"Did you know you're on my bed?"

"Yeah. Wait, what? Fuck." Kyungsoo doesn't have the muscle strength to move just yet. "Sorry, I'm gonna need another minute." He'd cover up but that would only make Chanyeol's sheets filthier. And require moving. Chanyeol smirks as he leans against the door frame.

"That good, huh? Nah, it's fine. As long as you change the sheets."

 

Kyungsoo wakes up later, still naked and on Chanyeol's bed, feeling gross. After a quick shower he heads back to the room to get Chanyeol's sheets, only to find Chanyeol standing in the room with Kyungsoo's choker in his hands. Kyungsoo freezes when he realizes what Chanyeol is holding, his heartbeat speeding up. He had forgotten he left the thing under the pillow. Chanyeol turns it over in his hands, fiddling with the clasp. Kyungsoo's eyes follow his every movement, frozen in place as he waits for a reaction, something, anything.

"Is this yours?" Chanyeol asks when he spots him, ignoring the fact that Kyungsoo looks like a deer caught in headlights. Kyungsoo nods sharply.

"It was under my pillow? What is it?" Kyungsoo straightens up as he clears his throat.

"A choker."

"Oh, like that necklace thing Jongdae has?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"I've never seen you wear this, is it new?"

"Yeah."

"It's nice. Put it on, I wanna see."

"N-no. I don't think that's a good idea, Chanyeol."

"Why not?" Chanyeol whines. "I'm not gonna make fun of you, you know that."

"What?"

"That's why you hid it, right? Because you think I'd make fun of you for wearing necklaces?"

"No, no, that's not it." He could have gone along with it. It would have been easy to latch onto the excuse that was being handed him, but it would also mean hurting Chanyeol's feelings. And while Kyungsoo may be ruthless with his words and his fists sometimes, he doesn't want to actually hurt Chanyeol. Not like this.

"Then why?" Kyungsoo takes a deep breath.

"I don't use it like Jongdae does." When he looks up, Chanyeol is looking at him with questions in his eyes. "Give it to me." Chanyeol tosses him the collar and Kyungsoo runs his fingers over it.

"Are Baekhyun and Jongdae back yet?" Chanyeol shakes his head.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because I don't want them here for this." Chanyeol seems to sense that Kyungsoo is about to reveal something important to him, as he shifts around on his bed, still covered with the sheets Kyungsoo dirtied. Kyungsoo takes another deep breath.

"Don't freak out, please." Chanyeol shakes his head. "I don't wear it as a necklace, I wear it as a choker." He pauses, thinking of what to say and hoping that Chanyeol will get it without him having to put into words. He doesn't.

"Like a literal choker. I choke myself with it, Chanyeol." Chanyeol's eyes widen a little and Kyungsoo can see him blushing. "Don't- you said you wouldn't freak out."

"I'm not. I mean, I'm a little surprised, but- yeah." Kyungsoo looks at him sheepishly. "So, it's like, a sex thing?"

"Yeah." Chanyeol stares at the wall behind Kyungsoo. Suddenly it looks like a light bulb just went on above his head.

"Is this what you didn't want to tell us the other day?" Kyungsoo nods. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I don't know. Your things are," he pauses to find the right word, "less frowned upon?" Chanyeol looks like he's deep in thought. Kyungsoo gets nervous. "Do you think I'm weird, now?"

Chanyeol's head snaps up.

"What? No, of course not." Kyungsoo cowers a bit from the loudness of his voice and Chanyeol scratches the back of his neck. "Sorry, I just- No, I don't think you're weird, Kyungsoo. Why would you think that?"

"I think I'm weird," he says softly. Now that he says it out loud, he realizes how true it is. He hasn't been able to get to terms with this new side of him completely yet. Chanyeol's eyes soften.

"Soo," he starts gently as he stands up and takes a step closer to him, "you're not weird. Not weirder than usual, at least." Kyungsoo snorts and punches his arm. Chanyeol takes the opportunity to grab his hand and pull him close for a hug. Kyungsoo splutters and tries to get away from him, but Chanyeol just holds on. Kyungsoo slumps against him.

"You're not weird. Now come on, let's go make dinner."

 

That night, when they're both in bed, Chanyeol's sheets changed, Kyungsoo hears him move around in bed.

"Stop it."

"Sorry," Chanyeol whispers, "I can't sleep." He stops moving.

"Hey, Soo?"

"What."

"Can I ask you something?"

"What."

"You know, that thing you told me about? The- the choking?" Kyungsoo's eyes fly open.

"Yeah?"

"Is that- Did- Did you do that today? When- when you were on my bed, I mean." Kyungsoo doesn't want to turn around and face Chanyeol for this conversation.

"Yeah, I did. Sorry."

"No, that's not- that's not what I meant. It's fine, I told you." Kyungsoo hums noncommittally and stares at the wall.

"It's really fine, Soo. I was just like, wondering. How does it work?"

"What do you mean, how does what work? Are you asking me how to jerk off, Chanyeol? Pretty sure you know how-"

"Come on, Soo, you know that's not what I meant." Silence fills the room.

"Sorry. I just. I didn't think anyone would find out so soon."

"I'm sorry." Kyungsoo sighs. He's hurt Chanyeol again.

"Don't be, it's not your fault."

"You don't have to answer."

"It's fine. Just- don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Okay."

Kyungsoo tells him about how he found out about it, about how he pulled on his shirt and about the website and his curiosity. He doesn't tell him about that time when he came to the memory of being trapped underneath Chanyeol.

"It's such a rush, Chanyeol. Being aware of something almost cutting off your air." He shudders, suddenly feeling very vulnerable. Chanyeol is quiet. Kyungsoo wonders if he fell asleep.

"Thanks. For telling, I mean. I think I get it now."

"Whatever. Just don't get all weird tomorrow. Don't talk about it. Please."

"I won't. Goodnight, Soo."

"Goodnight."

Kyungsoo doesn't sleep much that night.

 

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo have always had an odd friendship. At least, that's what other people seem to think. For them it has always been natural to shove each other around verbally and physically. Chanyeol often uses his height to his advantage to easily and forcefully move Kyungsoo around and Kyungsoo would retaliate by putting him in a headlock and there's always a bruise somewhere on either of their bodies from a punch or a kick. It's how they are. Kyungsoo likes how Chanyeol tries to sneak up to him and Kyungsoo thwarts him with a well-timed unimpressed stare or a fist. Chanyeol never stops trying.

 

Two weeks after Kyungsoo voiced his deepest desires to Chanyeol, Kyungsoo is reading a book on the couch in their living room when Chanyeol gets home. Kyungsoo decides to humor him and pretend he doesn't notice him sneaking up behind him.

"Boo," Chanyeol says close to his ear. Kyungsoo startles and turns around to see Chanyeol beaming at him.

"You ass," he says as he manages to grab Chanyeol's ear and pulls hard. Chanyeol yelps and Kyungsoo grins.

He puts his book face down on the table to keep it out of the way as Chanyeol plops down next to him on the couch and puts his elbow on Kyungsoo's head.

"You make such a nice armrest," he smirks. Kyungsoo glares.

"Off."

"Nah." Kyungsoo makes to punch Chanyeol's ribs and Chanyeol backs off.

"Okay, okay," he says, but there's still a twinkle in his eyes. A second later he's got Kyungsoo in a headlock and Kyungsoo is trying to squirm free. Chanyeol only tightens his hold in response. Kyungsoo feels the grip on his neck tighten and he feels a spike of arousal surge down his spine. He realizes he's getting hard and tries to get away because that is not something that he wants to happen right now. Chanyeol still has his arm wrapped around his neck and does not seem to want to let go any time soon, too glad to have the upper hand. Kyungsoo squirms and tries to at least turn his hips away from Chanyeol, but he is not having it. He forces Kyungsoo as close to him as possible, still smirking and unaware of Kyungsoo's turmoil.

Then, Kyungsoo moans.

It's a broken sound, and Kyungsoo is pretty mortified but he's hard in his pants and a little lightheaded. A few things happen at once. Kyungsoo tries to simultaneously back away and grind closer. Chanyeol's body freezes next to Kyungsoo's and the strain on Kyungsoo's neck loosens just a little bit. His smile is replaced by an expression of surprise as he watches Kyungsoo part his lips and gasp.

In the next moment, Chanyeol unfreezes and unwraps his arm from around Kyungsoo's neck. Air rushes back into Kyungsoo's lungs and he can't stop his hips from bucking up against Chanyeol's thigh. His eyelids flutter as he loses himself in the pleasure for a second, before snapping back open when he realizes what he's doing. They are both frozen on the spot. Kyungsoo is the first one that moves. He lifts his head from where it had fallen against Chanyeol's arm and clears his throat as he sits back up, pulling awkwardly at the fabric of his pants, trying to hide his boner as if he wasn't grinding against Chanyeol's leg just now. He clears his throat again, trying to think of something to say. He can't think of anything.

"I'm- I'm just gonna," he waves his hand in the direction of their room, "go."

"Yeah, yeah. Okay." Chanyeol looks like he has no idea what to say either.

 

They don't talk about it. They're both silent during dinner with Baekhyun and Jongdae, who are talking enough between themselves to not notice the uneasy quiet at the other end of the table.

 

That night, Chanyeol purposefully walks up to Kyungsoo when he's lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Hey, Soo?"

Kyungsoo makes an acknowledging grunt.

"Can we talk?"

"Fine."

Chanyeol looks at the open door for a moment, before walking over and closing it. Kyungsoo sits up against his headboard, his eyes on his hands.

"So." Chanyeol sits down on his bed.

"So."

"We should probably talk about it, about earlier."

They fall quiet.

"I'm sorry," they both blurt out at the same time and they look up at each other in surprise.

"No, I'm sorry," they say at the same time again, stressing the I. There's a smile tugging on Kyungsoo's lips. He puts his hand up.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, it was all me." He looks down at his lap again. "This is super awkward, Chanyeol, please just pretend it never happened and we can-"

"No," Chanyeol interrupts, "Soo, I can't do that."

Kyungsoo feels his heart sink. Great, he fucked everything up. How could he think they could just forget about him grinding against his best friend and go on like nothing happened? His one moment of blissful indulgence has changed the best friendship of his life forever. Fuck.

"I'm sorry, Yeol. Sorry for fucking up."

"What? No, Soo, you don't understand. I, I knew what I was doing."

Kyungsoo's eyes snap to Chanyeol's face, whose eyes fall to the floor.

"What."

Chanyeol takes a deep breath and sits up a bit straighter. His eyes slowly find Kyungsoo's. They're determined.

"Hear me out, okay?" Kyungsoo nods.

"When I found out about, about your choker, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I mean, I got curious and you didn't want to talk about it so I googled around a bit."

"Chanyeol-"

"No, don't interrupt. I'm never gonna bring it up again if you don't want me to but just hear me out right now."

Kyungsoo nods again, stunned silent.

"You told me that you like when, when something like, cuts off your air? I saw online that it's usually even better when it's done with hands but you need another person for that. So like, if you ever want to try you should let me know."

Kyungsoo gapes at him. This is the opposite of what he thought Chanyeol was going to say. It's true, Kyungsoo has thought about what it would feel like if he were to hand over the control to someone else, having his pleasure, his life, literally in someone else's hands. Not having to pay attention to anything, just feel. It sends a jolt of warmth down his spine. Not being quite ready to share this part of him with anyone, it had stayed a fantasy. And here is Chanyeol, offering to help make that fantasy a reality.

"Chanyeol," he starts, not quite sure what he is going to say next.

"I know this is probably a weird thing to say. Like, you don't have to say something right away. Think about it? I'm good either way." Chanyeol stands up at that and walks out of the room, leaving Kyungsoo alone.

His thoughts drift. To his choker, to the pleasure singing through his veins when he uses it, to the frustration of not being able to give in to it completely, to the knowledge of a better alternative. He knew he was going to have to find someone to help him with this, he just never thought it would be Chanyeol. Chanyeol, whose arms he has had wrapped around his neck many times before, whose body alone could crush Kyungsoo's ribs if he tried hard enough, it certainly could put enough pressure on his lungs to make Kyungsoo jerk off to the memory of it while hiding in the bathroom in shame. Chanyeol, who didn't make him feel bad about liking to be choked, even if it wasn't something he shared or even understood. Who accepted this part of him so easily when Kyungsoo himself was still struggling with it.

He's still lost in his thoughts when a short knock on the door interrupts the quiet.

"Kyungsoo," Jongdae says as he pokes his head around the door, "wanna watch a movie?"

"Sure," he answers, not really in the mood for it but needing the distraction.

 

The movie isn't much of distraction when Kyungsoo's eyes fall on Chanyeol's hand as he moves to grab his drink. He takes in the way his fingers wrap around the glass and thinks about how Chanyeol could easily fit one hand around his neck. Warmth starts licking at his insides and he knows he has made up his mind.

 

Not one to waste time when he knows what he wants, and still fired up from the nerves and anticipation, Kyungsoo is glad when Baekhyun and Jongdae head out the next night. He appreciates that Chanyeol has not let things get awkward between them since the day before, because once Kyungsoo realized he wanted Chanyeol to wrap his hands around his neck, it had been hard not to get right to it. So it doesn't take more than two minutes before he turns to Chanyeol.

"I want to try it."

To Chanyeol's credit, he doesn't spill his entire drink on his shirt, but he does come close. It's obvious he knows what Kyungsoo means right away and Kyungsoo is glad he doesn't have to spell it out.

"Are you sure?" Chanyeol asks once he regains some of his composure.

"Yeah," Kyungsoo breathes out, "do you, are you still okay with it?" He really hopes he doesn't back out now. What if it Chanyeol had only offered because he thought Kyungsoo would never agree to it? Something unpleasant curls in his stomach.

"Yeah," Chanyeol's eyes are wide, "I am."

"I want to try right now, is that okay?" Kyungsoo has no idea where this forwardness is coming from.

"Yeah, yeah, okay, let me just-" Chanyeol closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. "We should have some rules first. Like you should have a safe word?" He turns red at his next words. "We should talk about where I'm allowed to touch and what is off limits."

Kyungsoo hadn't thought about that. He had been so transfixed on the idea of getting off with hands around his neck that he hadn't thought about how the rest of Chanyeol would figure into the picture. Something must be showing on his face because Chanyeol's expression turns unsure again.

"Do you want to back out? It's fine if you do."

"No," Kyungsoo says a bit louder than needed considering they're sitting right next to each other and not standing on the opposite sides of a football field, "I mean, no. I just, I hadn't thought about that to be honest."

"We should probably not jump right to it, but take steps? What if, like, you do what you usually do except I'm the one pulling on the choker?"

Kyungsoo is a little disappointed he won't get hands on his neck immediately, but he realizes that this way is probably for the best. He's aware this is new territory, especially for Chanyeol who isn't the one who is into this in the first place. To be honest, he'll take what he can get. He should be glad this is even a reality, as surreal as it sounds.

They move to the bedroom and it's awkward all over again. Kyungsoo isn't always this shy and uncomfortable but usually he doesn't masturbate in front of his best friend, so he supposes it makes sense. Chanyeol surprises him by grabbing the collar from underneath Kyungsoo's pillow and the sight of him holding it doesn't make him feel anxious this time. Progress.

There's something purely sensual about watching Chanyeol handle the collar with his large hands, the buckle seems so much smaller now. When he's got the clasp open, Chanyeol looks over at Kyungsoo with a question in his eyes. Kyungsoo wordlessly steps closer and turns his back to him. The material of the choker feels familiar against his throat, the slide of it on his skin as Chanyeol works to close it making warmth surge through his veins. His knees feel weak. It's a little overwhelming, sharing this with someone else. Chanyeol turns him around by his shoulders, his eyes lowered to Kyungsoo's neck.

"It looks really good on you," he murmurs as one of his fingers follows the curve of it. Kyungsoo whimpers and is promptly mortified again.

"Don't. Don't hold back." Chanyeol drags his eyes back to Kyungsoo's slowly. "This is your party. You can cry if you want to." Kyungsoo rolls his eyes.

"Shut up," he says, not missing the reference. He smacks Chanyeol's arm, who just grins and grabs his hand to pull him down on Kyungsoo's bed with him. Chanyeol moves around until he's sitting against the headboard, his legs slightly spread.

"Come here," he says and Kyungsoo shuffles closer until he's between Chanyeol's legs.

"Turn around." Kyungsoo does as he's told.

"Lean against me, it's comfortable and gives me good access," Chanyeol says quietly as he maneuvers Kyungsoo down to lean against his chest. They've been in this position before, but never like this. Kyungsoo feels like he's on fire and struggles to hold back from putting a hand on where he's straining against his pants. Chanyeol notices.

"Go for it, pretend I'm not here if you want."

"Hard to do when you won't shut up." His words don't sound as menacing when his voice is nothing more than a whisper.

Kyungsoo screws his eyes shut, thinks fuck it, and rubs his palm over the bulge in his sweatpants. He teases himself by tracing the outline of his dick and soon he has his hand inside his pants.

"Wait, fuck," he breathes out as he yanks his hand back out and sits up.

"What?" Chanyeol asks immediately.

"I need to get out of these clothes." Kyungsoo gets off the bed and pulls his pants and underwear down in one go, slips his shirt off before climbing back to where he was before. He's already too worked up to think about being modest right now. Chanyeol's hands grab his waist and drag him closer to his now equally naked chest, squeezing just a tad more than normally. Kyungsoo moans softly.

His hand slides down his front before wrapping around his dick and starting a slow rhythm up and down. He can feel Chanyeol's breath on his shoulder but he pays it no mind, prefers to focus on the fist around his dick. He whines as he presses his thumb against the tip and it comes away glistening.  
A little later fingers skate up his neck and hook around the choker, pulling it tight against his throat. His back arches as pleasure zaps through him. A moan is wrecked from his mouth and his hand falters in its rhythm.

"Fuck, do that again," he breathes out once the pressure is gone. Chanyeol obeys.

Kyungsoo's eyes flutter shut and he tries to keep stroking himself as he shocks when the collar digs in hard. He is going to come embarrassingly fast like this. It's different from when he does it himself, not having to pay attention to anything except the feeling of his body being denied air when it's wound up so tight.

He gasps when he can, the air filling his lungs. He's half aware that he's panting and moaning, doesn't register much besides the rush in his head, his lungs, his veins.

It feels like fire.

He clutches at Chanyeol's wrist.

"More, give me more, so close, one more," he croaks out, mumbles as he pushes his head and shoulders back against Chanyeol, desperate for that little extra that will send him over the edge. Chanyeol pulls.

The leather digs deep into Kyungsoo's throat and he gasps for breath he can't take in. His body feels too full and his nerves are on fire. He feels his lungs trying to expand and burning at the lack of oxygen. It's so much, he gets lightheaded, it feels like bliss, it's too much, sparks across his vision and he squeezes Chanyeol's wrist, who instantly lets go. The rush of air sends him over the edge, his chest arching towards the ceiling, his neck exposed as his head is thrown back. His moan is broken as his muscles lock in his orgasm, feels his dick pulsate in his hand. Another wave of pleasure surges through him and his hips stutter weakly before he sags down, spent and sated, his chest and stomach streaked.

"Fuck," he mumbles while he's catching his breath, "fuck."

"Good?" There's a hitch in Chanyeol's voice.

"Yeah," he pants. "Fuck yeah. Don't wanna move."

"That was so hot," Chanyeol lets out.

Through his hazy mind, Kyungsoo recognizes the signs of being turned on in Chanyeol's quick short breaths, his fist clenched at his side. His hardened dick pressing against Kyungsoo's lower back.

Sluggishly, Kyungsoo crawls out from between Chanyeol's legs and moves himself to the other end of the bed. Chanyeol is still sitting there with his legs open, not bothering to hide how affected he is. Now that he is facing him, Kyungsoo sees the flush that has spread on Chanyeol's cheeks and dips down his chest. His lips are parted and his eyes trained on Kyungsoo. His tongue runs across his bottom lip and he swallows visibly. Kyungsoo makes up his mind. He's gonna return the favor.

"You like being watched, right?" Kyungsoo asks him. He nods, dazed.

"I'm watching. Go for it." Chanyeol moans softly.

"Are, are you sure?" He asks, hesitance in his eyes even as his fingers are curling into the elastic of his boxers to pull them down. Kyungsoo nods, his eyes fixed on where Chanyeol's fingers disappear. Chanyeol takes his underwear off in one swift movement, his hips lifting off of Kyungsoo's bed, his dick bouncing. He groans deep as he wraps his hand around it. His eyes slide closed as he starts a rhythm, it's fast and Kyungsoo can tell he was already quite worked up.

Chanyeol gasps when the bed jostles when Kyungsoo scoots closer.

"Open your eyes," Kyungsoo murmurs. "Watch me watch you."

Chanyeol's eyes flutter open, his gaze cloudy when his eyes meet Kyungsoo's. Kyungsoo takes in a sharp breath. Chanyeol looks beautiful like this.

Chanyeol moans, then, and he's got one hand shoved into his mouth to muffle the sounds he's making. Kyungsoo reaches over and tugs it free.

"Don't hold back," he says, repeating Chanyeol's earlier words, "let me hear you."

"Kyungsoo," Chanyeol whines and he grips Kyungsoo's wrist.

"I'm here," he says, "I'm here and I'm watching you fall apart."

Chanyeol whimpers and gasps.

"Am I doing, ah, doing good?" he asks and Kyungsoo knows what he needs to say.

"So good, Chanyeol. You're doing great, you look amazing."

A high keen rips from Chanyeol's throat and Kyungsoo feels it in his bones.

"So gorgeous, I can't believe you're letting me see this, I'm so lucky."

Chanyeol's eyes are screwed shut again, his head thrown back. His mouth is wide open to let out the most beautiful sounds.

"Are you close?" Chanyeol nods frantically.

"Come on then," Kyungsoo says and it sounds scratchy. His throat feels dry. "You can do it."

Chanyeol scrambles to find his hand again and Kyungsoo grabs it, squeezing softly. He leans over so he's closer to Chanyeol's ear.

"Let me watch you fall apart, do it for me. Come for me, Chanyeol."

A long, deep whine escapes Chanyeol's throat as he climaxes, his body losing all rhythm as he gives in. His left leg jerks out and nearly kicks Kyungsoo.

"Kyungsoo," he whines, his voice pitched high and breathy, and Kyungsoo hums.

"I'm here."

Chanyeol lifts his head and looks at him like he can't believe he is really there. Kyungsoo smiles a bit.

"Good?"

"Amazing. Thanks."

"Any time," Kyungsoo says and Chanyeol's eyes widen a little.

"Really?" he asks.

"Hm?"

"You said any time."

"Oh," Kyungsoo says, only now realizing, "I guess I did."

And really, watching Chanyeol come apart like that is something Kyungsoo wouldn't mind seeing again. And again.

"It was really hot." The flush on Chanyeol's cheeks deepens, obviously pleased, maybe a little embarrassed.

"You were hot too," he mumbles.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." One of the corners of Kyungsoo's mouth jumps up before the other joins it as he smiles.

"I know we agreed not to," Chanyeol starts, "but can I kiss you anyway?"

Kyungsoo looks at him, calculating.

"No," Kyungsoo says and Chanyeol deflates, his eyes falling downwards.

"Okay."

Kyungsoo grabs his hand and tugs gently until Chanyeol looks at him again.

"You can do something else, though," he says and pointedly looks down to where his dick is curving upwards, "that's your doing."

Chanyeol looks at him with amazement.

"Me?"

"You have no idea how hot you are, Chanyeol."

With a groan, Chanyeol launches himself forward, toppling Kyungsoo back onto his bed and sliding down next to him. Their eyes meet as he looms over Kyungsoo and his hand finds Kyungsoo's dick quickly, wrapping around it easily. Kyungsoo's eyes roll to the back of his head as Chanyeol slowly gets him to full hardness and then jerks him off at a maddening pace. His hips can't keep up with the rhythm and he digs his heels into the bed to thrust hard, chasing his release. Chanyeol's gaze on him makes his blood boil and he grabs weakly at Chanyeol's shoulder.

"Kiss me," he pleads. "For fuck's sake, just-" He is cut off when Chanyeol kisses him and it's frantic, desperate, teeth clashing. Kyungsoo breaks free when his head tips back as he lets out a loud moan. He pulls Chanyeol closer to him with a hand behind his head and he pants into his neck, his teeth scraping the skin there.

"Fuck, fuck, keep going, keep- ah," he breathes out. Chanyeol doesn't relent the fast pace of his hand and it takes no time at all before Kyungsoo comes again, curling in on himself, pushing his chest closer to Chanyeol's upper body.

He slaps Chanyeol's hand away when it gets too much and melts into the bed, feeling boneless and exhausted.

Chanyeol pushes himself up until he looks down on Kyungsoo, leaning on his elbows, and smiles bright.

"Come here," Kyungsoo whines and drags his head back down.

"Hi," Chanyeol whispers, a smile on his lips. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes before kissing him, more softly this time. He presses their lips together gently, sucks on Chanyeol's bottom lip for a bit. Kyungsoo's hands are on Chanyeol's face, in his hair, holding him close. They kiss for a while, until they have to stop because Chanyeol is smiling too much to continue.

"Ahh," he says with a smile in his voice as he puts his forehead against Kyungsoo's, his eyes going crossed as he tries to keep looking at Kyungsoo, "I like you so much, Soo."

Kyungsoo blinks. He never really thought about it, but now, it suddenly seems so clear.

"I like you too, you idiot."

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. apparently i cannot write anything without at least one person being sad and needing comfort at some point t __ t at least this time it isn't sehun  
> 2\. bisexual park chanyeol /waves flags/ park chanyeol my bisexual knight in shining armor coming to my rescue every time ur a trooper  
> 3\. I'M GONNA HIDE FROM THE WORLD NOW first smut i've written . __ .  
> 4\. come say hi at [ask.fm](http://ask.fm/theoffbeatdrum)~


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